Rebirth:

Папа

Папа stood in the doorway with unbuttoned jeans
Smoking a cigarette after eight hours of working
under the blazing Sūrya
His wife-beater soaked in musk
He looks upon me sleeping in maṇíguṇanikara
under the Sóma-Devá

Skin radiant from the marakata pādanālikā feet
to the pearl drop face
He loves to hold it gently under the light
Polished to perfection!
Long lines visible like a cut diamond

Николас schleps me to his world where
I succumb to his flawless savagery
A powerful being tearing my insides with
his sword 
I pant under a towering chest, pleading for
mercy
A second to breathe this reality
so I can see what has taken me to
Heaven

A Русский foot-soldier captured me in the
Great War
Ransacking the Mātṛgṛha, he unearthed an
unconscious Brāhmaṇa’s son
A sickly boy with lips as soft as the mango
Stricken with fear, he smuggled me to his
homeland to live amongst the exuberant Devás

The smell of campakagandha perfume worn by
sons of wealthy patrons brings me to tears
Yet his hand caressing my cheek brings me home
I inhale the rāgitaru in my backyard
Each flower untouched by the mischievous birds

I suckle rough fingers, clinging onto a ghostly
past
Memories follow me everywhere I go

To Зимний Дворец…Государственный
Эрмитаж…Нева
Like the river’s ice that cannot be broken at night,
my heart is frozen for half of the day

As Uṣas submerges us in an Ocean of Ecstasy

My heart opens its doors for Папа
He walks inside knowing I am eternally his
A lover, friend and humble servant

 

 

It Is Done

I waited for years and years for him to find me
Hidden amongst the towering aśoka trees
A cage of green deceit
No where to turn but the dying leaf

Fire rushed through the fields
Like wasps looking for new prey
I fainted to the ground
Aghast at such a vile deed

He came with a torch in one hand
To destroy what is rightfully his
No words uttered yet the look of a beast
Taking everything in its path without mercy

The poisonous snake bit into my arms,
charring the flesh
I ran into the water screaming in tears
By Mahādevī’s blessing, a cruel stranger took
pity on me

From the water I was rescued
Given life while the Vivásvat beams with joy
His lips pressed firmly against mine
To give breath to an immortal!

He kept me in his embrace for months
A father nourishing his abandoned child
As the white ketakī grew to reach
Śakra-Devá’s ocean
The savage senses their distrust

When at last I awoke, I gasped and clutched
his arm
Naked from head to toe and covered in long
scars
He felt gentle as the benevolent Gáṅgā
Then his heartless deeds struck me

Like the blissful Vāruṇá who suddenly
shows his true colors
I saw a cruel warlord who plowed the fields
To plant seeds of misery
Where the mallikā once grew lay the
rotting heads of orphaned children

I placed my fingers on his cheek, whispering
his sins
At which he lowers his head in shame
Pangs of guilt are a pox on his soul
On my chest he bawls uncontrollably, 
for which I speak these words: “It is done”

 

 

Daddy Never Came Home

He left at the break of dawn with his files
I looked at him, unable to utter a word
The Sun fell into the ocean as the moon jumped
out of its velvet pouch
Giving light in the dark recesses of
our repugnant swamp

I didn’t understand why Daddy had to leave
so suddenly
His coffee spilled onto the floor
His eggs were untouched
Hardly a word spoken before the door closed

A doom waiting to be hatched
Such a savage vulture God created!

Mother waited for daddy to come home
She sat by the window with me
Searching for miles into the city for her exotic
savior
Her hair was once an untamed waterfall,
overwhelming my sight!

Now, it is a gray strand hanging from the scalp
Mother told me Daddy promised to call soon
but the phone never rang
When the landlord evicted us from our apartment
we had nothing to keep us warm
The icy air felt worse than my bleeding feet

I cried and asked mother when Daddy would
come home
She stared into her beggar cup, unwilling to say
anything
The stars diminished from the sky as Dawn seized
her golden throne once again

Mother slit her throat to forsake an unfortunate life
She wasn’t ready to live amongst the black sheep
Then why did God give her to me in the first place!?
It wasn’t punishment, no?

Daddy never sent a letter to say he was sorry
Not even a care package to show he thought of us
Cookies, sandwiches, credit cards, money…
Daddy never came home because he was nothing
but an illusion 

 

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